10. Validate his parking stub
9. Cancel his subscription to "Life" magazine
8. Decaffeinating his espresso
7. Celining his Dion
6. Moving his show to CBS
5. Feeding him a Taco Bell death-burrito supreme
4. Giving him tickets to a John Tesh concert
3. Introducing him to Lorne Greene
2. Get him a room at the "I'm-Not-Alive-Anymore" hotel
1. Killing him
Thanks to David Letterman.
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