The Chicago Syndicate: Top ten mafia money savings tips

Friday, August 12, 2005

Top ten mafia money savings tips

10. When taking a body out to Jersey, use mass transit.

9. Tap into nearly endless supply of cheap Mexican hit-men.

8. Make threatening phone calls after 11pm, when rates are lowest.

7. When you whack two or three guys, stuff them in same trunk and carpool it.

6. Inexpensive pinkie ring substitute: Plastic tab-pull from half gallon of orange juice.

5. Pasta is very inexpensive and very filling.

4. Forget expensive car bombs--just sneak up behind the guy and yell, "Ker-pow!"

3. Every time you kill a guy, put a nickel in a jar.

2. Fire pricey nickname consultants -- everyone is either "Fat Tony" or "Knuckles."

1. Limit yourself to ten "fugeddaboudits" a day.

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