Mafia Gardening 101

An elderly Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual vegetable garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was rock hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him in the garden, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up the garden plot, my back won't take it anymore. I know if you were here my troubles would be over, as you loved the garden as much as I. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days, but you're not here, so guess the garden will just peter out, just like me. Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son: Dear Papa, Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried. Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived, swarmed over the entire house and grounds and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son: Dear Papa, Go ahead and plant the garden now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Vinnie

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Feds Turn Profit on Auction of Mob Money

An unusual government auction of some cash once held by a Chicago mob boss is over.

In this Intelligence Report: Dozens of $500 and $1,000 bills owned by Frank Calabrese Sr. have fetched a small fortune.

It is rare to get money from the Outfit without having to pay it back -- plus some sizable interest. That's what they call a juice loan. Federal authorities, though, not only took some mob money found hidden in the walls of a home where boss Frank "the Breeze" Calabrese lived, they have sold it all at auction for a profit.

Three-quarters of a million dollars in cash was found stashed inside a basement wall, behind a Calabrese family montage at the Oak Brook home where Frank "the Breeze" once lived.
The money was seized as part of the famed Operation Family Secrets case, during which Calabrese was convicted of numerous gangland killings and is now serving a life sentence.

Over the past two weeks, an auction site has conducted online bidding for 125 of the bills, rare denominations of $500 and $1,000.

Federal officials say the U.S. Marshals service sold all 82 $500 bills and 43 $1,000 bills for more than face value. That means the government made at least $84,000 from the sale and likely hauled in more than $100,000.

On the open market today, such rare bills often sell for more than the face value, and a spokesman for the U.S. attorney said some of Calabrese's currency went for considerably more than the $500 or $1,000 face value denomination.

Authorities now have four days to confirm bids and two weeks to file a court notice of exactly how much was made in gross sales, which minus auction expenses, will be used to reduce Calabrese's hefty court-imposed fines and restitution.

Other Calabrese property seized from his home, including 1,000 pieces of diamond jewelry, is to be auctioned as well.

The feds say they hope to have all the final figures from the cash auction tallied by Labor Day. It is unclear where Frank Calabrese obtained the exotic bills.

Calabrese and the other bosses convicted in Family Secrets still have appeals pending in federal court.

Thanks to Chuck Goudie

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"Gangland" Fan Charged with Offering Police $100,000 Bribe

An Eau Claire, Wisc. motorist who allegedly had drugs, a loaded gun and thousands of dollars of cash on him when he was pulled over early Wednesday on the South Side was charged with offering police $100,000 to let him go, police said.

Christopher Parker, 24, of Fall Street in Eau Claire, was charged with felony attempted bribery, felony unlawful use of a weapon, possession of cannabis and drug paraphernalia and traffic offenses, according to Gresham District police Lt. John Francis. Parker was expected in court Thursday

Parker allegedly offered officers $100,000 to let him go but was arrested instead, the lieutenant said.

Parker was behind the wheel of a 2002 Ford Explorer that was pulled over by police about 1 a.m. Wednesday in the 7800 block of South Lowe Avenue because the SUV only had one headlight, the lieutenant said.

The lieutenant said Parker claimed to be a History channel fan who watches a show called “Gangland.’’

According to the History channel’s website, Gangland is a series examining notorious street gangs in America.

Parker had the loaded Smith & Wesson .38 caliber semi automatic handgun, cannabis and $3,000 cash inside the SUV, according to the lieutenant.

According to the arrest report, Parker allegedly said, “I’m a dumb-a---- white boy from Wisconsin, I watch ‘Gangland’ and I came to the South Side of Chicago to act like a big baller.’’

The lieutenant said Parker told arresting officers he borrowed the gun for protection because he was “scared” to be driving on the South Side.

Calumet Area detectives are investigating.

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