Saturday, July 18, 2009

Sonia “El Juez” Sotomayor Connected to Mexican Mafia

Senator Lindsey Graham dropped a bombshell on the confirmation hearings of Obama Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor during questioning today.

Judge Sotomayor's mafia ties are plainly visible.

The reportSonia Sotomayor connected to Mexican Mafia, which Graham waved around in the air, contains serious charges that Sotomayor is hiding her true convictions as well as connections to La eMe, the Mexican Mafia. In fine detail Graham read the report to the Senate Judiciary Committee members and to Sotomayor who objected that the report was obtained illegally. As Graham read the charges Sotomayor became increasingly uncomfortable and asked for a recess in the hearings. The request was denied by the Democratic majority.

The report alleges that Sotomayor ran the Bronx chapter of the Mexican mafia from her brownstone apartment building.

“We used to see Cesar [a lieutenant in the Mexican mafia currently serving life in prison for murder] coming in and out of her [Sotomayor’s] apartment,” said Jorge Chavez who was an undercover agent for the FBI. Chavez’ testimony went on to detail that Sotomayor, known as “el Juez,” the Judge, in her underworld dealings, was a key decision-maker in the organization, going so far as to use her authority as a judge to order prisoners to institutions where the Mexican mafia could assassinate rival gang leaders as well as snitches in their own organization.

“My husband’s dead because of el Juez [Sotomayor],” said Veronica Matthews. “She used her power to have him shipped to another prison where he was killed in the exercise yard.” Matthews, wife of Hell’s Angels former second-in-command Bill “the Knife” Matthews is now in a witness protection program after Sotomayor allegedly ordered a squad of her “soldiers” to make her “go silent,” which was Sotomayor’s euphemism for murdering someone.

Chavez’ detailed reports to the FBI’s Organized Crime Taskforce also contain allegations that as “el Juez” Sotomayor’s famous ruling against New Haven Connecticut firefighters was actually to allow for more Mexican mafia members to obtain high ranking positions in the department to squelch ongoing arson investigations.

“This report concludes that Sonia Sotomayor decision directly impeded the investigation and that, furthermore, the new officers in New Haven went on to hide details of other crimes committed by La eMe,” Graham said. Sotomayor remained silent during the accusations, but she did appear to consult with several young Hispanic men who accompanied her to the hearings today. They refused to comment.

Sources in the Judiciary committee say that the majority members are holding an emergency meeting to decide whether to continue with the hearings or ask Obama to withdraw his nomination.

“If this doesn’t defeat the nomination, I’m not sure what will,” said Senator Jeff Sessions (R-AL), the Judiciary Committee ranking member, “but I’ll find it. We’re not ready to release anything quite yet, but we are working on other reports that connect her to the Octomom as well as Michael Jackson’s drug abuse.”

Satire by Ashley Phosphate


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