Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"
Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image by David Letterman
9. Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8. Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOOYYYYYJEVICH"

7. Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6. Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5. Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4. Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3. I don't know...how about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2. Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1. Uhhh...resign?

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