Wednesday, March 31, 1999
By David Letterman
10. Tell a guy you're going to shoot him, then kill him with a brick.
9. Tape sign to informant's back that reads: "Whack me."
8. The old "non-drying cement shoes" gag.
7. Put body in big paper bag, place it on somebody's doorstep, light it on fire, ring doorbell, run away.
6. Phone local teamsters office, say, "This is Jimmy Hoffa--any messages for me?"
5. Call up Domino's; order a pizza for Mr. Foghead A. Boutit.
4. The old severed finger in the hot dog bun trick.
3. Replace someone's "Godfather" tape with a Teletubbys video.
2. Instead of horse's head, rig it so somebody wakes up next to Linda Tripp.
1. Three words: squirting pinkie rings.